The Secrets of Singles in America Revealed

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On Saturday I was fortunate enough to attend Match.com’s 5th annual “Singles in America” event via livestream. The information about what singles want is always interesting to me (and singles account for 1/3 of the U.S. population), but this year shed a new light not only on what they want, but how technology is playing a part in that process.

What did I learn?

Women are slower to commit
The numbers don’t like: women are slower to commit. That runs in exact opposition of the long-standing myth that women fall in love quickly and want a commitment right away. Modern women are slower to want to move in with a new partner and are more likely to want to maintain their independence longer. According to the study, 64% of women want to spend more time with friends, 90% want more personal space and 78% of them want to maintain their financial independence.

I admit that those numbers seemed high to me. And then I thought about my own life, and I realized that I very much fit in with those findings. I was wary about jumping into a relationship (and I’m always a slow mover when it comes to risk), and I do pursue my own interests and want to spend time with friends that isn’t “couple” time.

The Clooney Effect
While I’ve been fortunate enough to always date men who appreciated a smart, opinionated women, that hasn’t been the case for all of my female friends. Good news, ladies! Times are changing. In what they are calling “The Clooney Effect,” single men are seeking women who are intelligent, self-sufficient and powerful on their own. Of the men surveyed, 87% of them would date a woman who makes significantly more money and who are better-educated. Singles of both sexes want their dates to be informed about the world, and 75% of the singles asked said that they want their date to take on stand on foreign and domestic issues. I’m pretty happy to see this happening with adults. I hope these attitudes trickle down into the teenage dating population so that we stop seeing so many teen girls trying to hide their intelligence in order to be popular.

Online is the best “singles” scene in town
In 1995 when Match.com began they had to fight against a stigma towards online dating. Popular misconception was that if you had to turn to the Internet to find a date, there was something wrong with you. Even 10 years ago you were probably still lying to family about how you met your boyfriend, if you met him online. Not so anymore! Online daters are likely to be educated, employed and have no qualms about meeting their next partner online. In fact, according to the survey 31% of U.S. singles met their last first date online.

There are social media taboos
Even though you met online, do not assume that your date will have only a casual opinion about your social media life. Posting too many selfies are a turn-off for both men and women, as is airing your personal drama on Facebook, Twitter, etc (though it’s a bigger turn-off for women: 65% men/78% women reacted negatively to it). Still, while too many selfies is a “no,” both men and women admit to posting the occasional selfie in order to show off where they are, how they look or to commemorate a special moment.

Want to know more? You can watch a recording of the presentation here or over on YouTube. Enjoy!

Sponsored by Match.com. Material and/or financial incentives may be received as a result of my involvement with the above program. But all editorial content and opinions are those of Dating in LA and Other Urban Myths.

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